The service of shaia{R}

What it is like serving a disabled Master

Written by shaia{R}

After having been serving Reaper for these 5 years, not much is left to the imagination about how bad He can and might get in the next few years. shaia has gone to all of the doctor appointments, surgical consultations, Workers Compensation trials, and chiropractic visits. See, 7 years ago before Reaper and shaia met, Reaper worked for a pallet shop for His uncle and cousin. One day while working, He was walking from one of the buildings; He opened the door, and stepped onto the stairs, as He did the stairs fell out from under Him and the heavy industrial fire door closed fast onto the top of His head. As a result, He went to the hospital and found out He has spinal stenosis, spinal migranes, herniated discs and a few other conditions. His spine in the last 2 years has narrowed to 4cm. They are now telling Him that surgery is NOT an option, and that He will end up in a wheelchair in the next few years. In addition, Reaper is not able to lift anything more than a gallon of milk, for those of you who do not know how much that is, it is 4 ½ lbs. Not much. So, He is unable to lift Oour child, even from birth. Also, He cannot bend over. With this condition, He is determined unable to work. However, Wwe are fighting both workers compensation for pay or a settlement, and Wwe are also fighting Social Security for Him to be approved for a paycheck. As a result, Wwe get state assistance for medical, food stamps, cash, and wic. (Please do not judge us because Wwe have to use all avenues and resources.)

Everyday is a struggle. shaia understands that there are those out there that are more disabled than Master is, and she is not discrediting any of you. Nor, is she saying that she doesn't feel that His condition is the worse there is. shaia knows it is not. However, for Oour family it is still disheartening, and a major concern. Reaper cannot stand for long, lay down for long, or sit for a long time. His legs go numb, and several times He has muscle spasms that cause Him to be unable to move for a long time. shaia makes sure He takes His medicine, helps Him get dressed, wash Him, puts on His shoes and ties them, does all household chores, and on top of caring for a disabled person, the house, and herself, also has to care for an infant on her own.

Most days, shaia feels like a single parent due to these facts. Some days, good days, the days that are a gift, Reaper does the best He can and plays with her regardless of how much pain He feels. Now that she is standing and working on walking, He is able to do a lot more. Those days, are precious. Daddy's angel knows exactly who her father is, and loves Him dearly, her face lights up when she hears him walk into the room, or when He rubs her head as she stands up in her playpen. When asked who and where daddy is, she looks directly at him and squeals in joy. By no means should anyone think that by being disabled it has hurt or put a strain on their relationship. It has not. There are just differences in what He can do in comparison to what other dads are able to do with their child.

Reaper appreciates all that shaia does, and recognizes her strength as a slave, caregiver, housekeeper and a mother. Oour relationship has its ups and downs. Wwe argue like normal couples, He forgives shaia for these moments because He understands that it is extremely stressful for them Bboth. Sexually, there is little that goes on. His back is unable to take the movement and stress it puts on Him for long no matter what position we are in. He also has a loss in sex drive as years go on. As much as this annoys Uus Bboth, Wwe have come to accept it for what it is. shaia used to be a very sexual creature, however, Reaper does a lot of play with shaia and she loves it and cherishes it. shaia enjoys lots of sensual spanking, cutting, hair pulling, flogging, and slapping. For shaia, this is better than any sex since for her, the mental aspect is more important than the sexual experience.

shaia loves her life serving a disabled Master, and has grown as a woman, a caregiver, and a mother. shaia feels that after caring for sick parents as a child and teenager, serving Reaper was the most natural progression for her, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nothing is more rewarding then the good days where Reaper grits through the pain for both Daddy's angel and shaia, and does everything He can with and for them that He is able. Some days that means He is capable of a lot, and other days, He is capable of just listening to shaia talk, as He rubs her head as it lays in His lap, and holds Daddy's angel until shaia has to take back over because the pain gets to be too much.

shaia is not looking for a pity party, nor for some to understand. Just as shaia CHOSE to be a slave, she also has chosen to serve Reaper. she does not regret that decision at all. So, sure, support and understanding would be nice, as would people to talk to about anything just so she can get things off her chest. Sometimes the male factor just does not understand some things. *smiles*

shaia's heart goes out to all those who are disabled, to those that care for them, and for their families. shaia may not understand or know your individual situation, however she understands your daily stress and worries. shaia prays that all of Uus can stick together and become a support system for those in the lifestyle.