The service of shaia{R}

What it is like serving a disabled Master

Written by shaia{R}

After having been serving Reaper for these 5 years, not much is left to the imagination about how bad He can and might get in the next few years. shaia has gone to all of the doctor appointments, surgical consultations, Workers Compensation trials, and chiropractic visits. See, 7 years ago before Reaper and shaia met, Reaper worked for a pallet shop for His uncle and cousin. One day while working, He was walking from one of the buildings; He opened the door, and stepped onto the stairs, as He did the stairs fell out from under Him and the heavy industrial fire door closed fast onto the top of His head. As a result, He went to the hospital and found out He has spinal stenosis, spinal migranes, herniated discs and a few other conditions. His spine in the last 2 years has narrowed to 4cm. They are now telling Him that surgery is NOT an option, and that He will end up in a wheelchair in the next few years. In addition, Reaper is not able to lift anything more than a gallon of milk, for those of you who do not know how much that is, it is 4 ½ lbs. Not much. So, He is unable to lift Oour child, even from birth. Also, He cannot bend over. With this condition, He is determined unable to work. However, Wwe are fighting both workers compensation for pay or a settlement, and Wwe are also fighting Social Security for Him to be approved for a paycheck. As a result, Wwe get state assistance for medical, food stamps, cash, and wic. (Please do not judge us because Wwe have to use all avenues and resources.)

Everyday is a struggle. shaia understands that there are those out there that are more disabled than Master is, and she is not discrediting any of you. Nor, is she saying that she doesn't feel that His condition is the worse there is. shaia knows it is not. However, for Oour family it is still disheartening, and a major concern. Reaper cannot stand for long, lay down for long, or sit for a long time. His legs go numb, and several times He has muscle spasms that cause Him to be unable to move for a long time. shaia makes sure He takes His medicine, helps Him get dressed, wash Him, puts on His shoes and ties them, does all household chores, and on top of caring for a disabled person, the house, and herself, also has to care for an infant on her own.

Most days, shaia feels like a single parent due to these facts. Some days, good days, the days that are a gift, Reaper does the best He can and plays with her regardless of how much pain He feels. Now that she is standing and working on walking, He is able to do a lot more. Those days, are precious. Daddy's angel knows exactly who her father is, and loves Him dearly, her face lights up when she hears him walk into the room, or when He rubs her head as she stands up in her playpen. When asked who and where daddy is, she looks directly at him and squeals in joy. By no means should anyone think that by being disabled it has hurt or put a strain on their relationship. It has not. There are just differences in what He can do in comparison to what other dads are able to do with their child.

Reaper appreciates all that shaia does, and recognizes her strength as a slave, caregiver, housekeeper and a mother. Oour relationship has its ups and downs. Wwe argue like normal couples, He forgives shaia for these moments because He understands that it is extremely stressful for them Bboth. Sexually, there is little that goes on. His back is unable to take the movement and stress it puts on Him for long no matter what position we are in. He also has a loss in sex drive as years go on. As much as this annoys Uus Bboth, Wwe have come to accept it for what it is. shaia used to be a very sexual creature, however, Reaper does a lot of play with shaia and she loves it and cherishes it. shaia enjoys lots of sensual spanking, cutting, hair pulling, flogging, and slapping. For shaia, this is better than any sex since for her, the mental aspect is more important than the sexual experience.

shaia loves her life serving a disabled Master, and has grown as a woman, a caregiver, and a mother. shaia feels that after caring for sick parents as a child and teenager, serving Reaper was the most natural progression for her, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nothing is more rewarding then the good days where Reaper grits through the pain for both Daddy's angel and shaia, and does everything He can with and for them that He is able. Some days that means He is capable of a lot, and other days, He is capable of just listening to shaia talk, as He rubs her head as it lays in His lap, and holds Daddy's angel until shaia has to take back over because the pain gets to be too much.

shaia is not looking for a pity party, nor for some to understand. Just as shaia CHOSE to be a slave, she also has chosen to serve Reaper. she does not regret that decision at all. So, sure, support and understanding would be nice, as would people to talk to about anything just so she can get things off her chest. Sometimes the male factor just does not understand some things. *smiles*

shaia's heart goes out to all those who are disabled, to those that care for them, and for their families. shaia may not understand or know your individual situation, however she understands your daily stress and worries. shaia prays that all of Uus can stick together and become a support system for those in the lifestyle.

In the process of planning and writing this entry several thoughts and ideas went through shaia's head. Part of the reason that this entry was written is because about a month ago, Master and shaia had a HUGE disagreement and finally shaia has accepted that sometimes she needs to just learn to let the issue go and move on. This is how she goes about defusing the argument and making up after it. shaia hopes that many of you find this entry helpful, shaia and Master have found it has made a huge improvement to Oour relationship. Master is also not of the belief that He is ALWAYS right, but shaia admits that really, He does seem to be right most of the time, even if she doesn't want to admit it.

-What to do during and after an argument -

Written by: shaia{R}

Relationships are important in order for strong mental health. There have even been studies that show the positive health impacts regarding having a good relationship with others, not matter what the relationship may be. One of the strongest types of relationships is boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, and lovers. In these types of relationships, the other person matters greatly to you.

In any relationship, there are bound to be arguments and disagreements. There have been arguments and disagreements among people dating back decades into history. Back then there was not as much to argue about as there is today, but there still happened to be couples that would break up, just not as often. They would kiss and make up more times than not. However, in present day people seem to get divorced without even trying to reconcile their differences.

There are things you can remember when you have an argument and you want to make up:

1. Time out – Take a time out from the argument for 30 minutes and go off into your own corners and cool down. Everyone knows that emotions are extremely high in an argument. Just remember, when a child is highly emotional the best thing is to put them somewhere to cool off, well the same thing goes for partners. So when emotions are high, one of the two needs to call this time out to keep things from getting out of control.

2. Do you laugh about the small things? – An example is when your wife throws something out of the refrigerator that you planned on eating, you need to ask yourself if wish to keep neutral ground and not cause an argument. You need to be sure you stop and think about what you are going to say before getting upset. This will allow you and your partner a chance to have a happy and drama free home.

3. When is it right to kiss and make up? – This is something that has been discussed for years. There are some who believe that couples must make up before going to bed. There are others who would rather sleep on it before continuing. Both arguments are reasonable. Those who believe the first thought are people who want to wake up fresh and start over again. They will talk as long as it takes to get things straightened out and then fall asleep together.

The other couples that wish to sleep on the feelings over night are of the belief that sitting and talking all hours of the night will not accomplish anything. They know their head will be clearer in the morning. In all actuality, the argument may actually be diminished.

Whichever side you are on really depends on who you are and your personality. You may end up in a relationship where you feel one way and your partner feels another. If this occurs, you will need to work out a compromise.